When I started TTC way back when, I found the website babycenter.com and discovered a thread that was dedicated to TTC over 35. I quickly fell into a friendship with this core group of infertiles and became acquainted with the struggles they had been experiencing for months and even years. Of the core group of six women, three already had children and were encountering secondary IF. Then there were the three of us who didn't have any children. My two childless cohorts had both been trying for years to get pregnant and were about to try IVF for the first time. Needless to say, neither of those attempts ended up working.
One of the women, Rachel, is now on her third round of IVF. Today she just had three embryos transferred into her uterus. She wrote today that she had a hard time being hopeful because she is pretty prepared for it not to work. I understand her perspective. I don't allow myself to get all that hopeful anymore. There's always a glimmer, but I try to squash it as much as possible just to enable me to keep my sanity. I am really hopeful for Rachel, though. I really want this time to be successful for her. First of all, our group needs a little bit of good news, plus, I just can't imagine the strength she has to muster to keep on trying time after time. It's bad enough when you have to have timed sex and all the unpleasantness associated with it, but when you add all the shots and procedures into it, less the sex, I just can't imagine. So much effort, time, and energy, not to mention money, spent for nothing.
So this is my prayer to those little embryos out there somewhere inside a woman I have never met, "Please get comfortable and stay. Your mother really has been through the wringer and wants you so very, very much." I hope somewhere out there someone is praying for me.
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